One seemingly normal day in the mid-west, three childhood friends are just bursting with excitement. For this was no normal day, this was the day they had been anxiously awaiting. The US release of Halo 2! Three boys went to school. Two boys got sleep the night before. One boy went to Wal*mart at midnight to pickup a pre-ordered copy of Halo 2. This is the story of one of the boys who got sleep the night before.

As I woke the morning of November 9th, 2004 I stumbled to the shower half awake, as I always did. The water seemed extra soothing this day, perhaps it was the coming of the Christmas season, or perhaps the knowledge that my best friend had stayed up all night prior to this morning in order to get us a copy of Halo 2, or perhaps it was knowing that today of all days was a half day at school. Despite the reasoning behind the water being so soothing, this was sure to be a great day.

Block scheduling, makes even half days seem long. In any other school, we would have had to visit each class for a dismal amount of time, however in my school we only go to half our classes each day. So splitting the hours in half didn’t really make a difference. Teachers would continue as planned, and the only thing that got sacrificed was our beloved lunch period. Needless to say the 4 hours seemed just as long as a normal 8 hour day. What followed the seemingly longest half day in the history of half days was the most memorable afternoon of solid online gaming I have ever been a part of.

The name of the game was Big-Team Battle and in those days the most frequently played game type was single bomb, and or classic CTF. (Capture the Flag) We played for hours, and as young boys do we got on our opponents nerves in game, and outside the game. Every time we joined a new match we read over the names of our fellow gamers, every so often stopping to make jokes about them. One name stuck out in particular, it was the name of one of my teammates. I don’t remember his exact name but it had the word Ganch in it. I hassled him for pretty much the whole game simply because he wouldn’t tell me what a ganch was. My friends and I were puzzled by the word also. My interest in the actual meaning of Ganch increased with each match we played after that.

The next day at school I made it the mission of my friends and I to research this mysterious word. My friend Rob (the math wiz) found somewhere on the internet that a Gaunch was the largest fresh water fish in existence. I didn’t believe him for one second and still don’t to this day. I’ve search many times and the only definitions I’ve found were from urbandictionary.com. Anyways ever since then we have been calling people ganches with no really explanation for anyone asking what the heck we’re talking about.

From urbandictionary.com:
1. ganch: 1. A person who talks rubbish or talks too much; 2. To talk rubbish or to talk too much
Examples: 1. “He’s a proper ganch that one”; 2. “All he does is ganch. When’s he gonna quit his ganching”

2. ganch: The stretch of skin between the anus and the testicles. See also ‘chode’ or ‘grendela’
Examples: Dan fell on the ice, did the splits, and tore his ganch.

3. Ganch: That fat part of a cat’s belly that swings back and forth when it runs.
Examples: Holy cow that ganch is hitting the floor!

So last year I lost my login info for my previous gamertag, and when it came time to renew I decided to get a new one. I asked my friends for input but none of them came up with anything good, so I chose Ganchatize Me Captain, as a play on the popular slogan for my favorite cereal. (Captain Crunch!) With Xbox live character limitations it had to be shortened to GanchatizMeCptn. So I guess I’m a trash talker by definition, but if you ever play me, you’ll find out I’m relatively soft spoken, only speaking my piece when needed.

Week 1 Labbing the Colts
————————
Offensive strong points:
Peyton Manning 99
Reggie Wayne 95
Dallas Clark 91
Joseph Addai 85
Jeff Saturday 93

Defensive strong points:
Bob Sanders 95
Dwight Freeney 94
Robert Mathis 92
Raheem Brock 85
Antoine Bethea 88

Gameplan:
I’d like to take control of the game from an offensive standpoint. Seeing how I have very low expectations for my Linebacking crew. I’m going into every game expecting to play it safe, west coast style. I’ll be trying my best to make zero mistakes because controlling the game offensively requires an error-free drive. I anticipate having little to no problem picking defenses apart with Dallas Clark lining up in the slot in Indy’s special TE Slot formation. Every now and then I plan on throwing in a pitch or a dive just so they dont start dropping back in Prevent or anything cheesy like that. If I can dominate time of possession, I’m pretty sure I can put up the points needed to win.

In the event I do need to rely on my defense, I will be looking at running a lot of 1-5-5 mainly. Although I’m not so sure putting 4 of my linebackers in is a good plan either. They all seem to be sub-par, even the highest rated one, Gary Bracket is a freaking joke. Maybe I should run 46 or some other type of spread defense. I haven’t decided which formation will be my base but I’ll definitely be using the Multiple D playbook.

Matchups:
Non-Gamebattles Ranked vs Vikings (My PB’s: Run & Gun + Multiple D’s)
—————–
I won the toss, got the ball first, and found that running with Indy isn’t as hard to setup as I thought it would be. I didnt even establish the run, before I started throwing in playaction passes. My first playaction attempt ended in a 53 yard touchdown catch for Joey Addai. The play was Ace PA DBL GO, I motioned the left TE to the right to see if it was man coverage. Once I saw it was zone I kept his route the same. If it had been man I would have hot routed him to a drag pattern.Youtube

My second offensive drive was even quicker than the first, It took me three plays to go 79 yards. Every play of the drive I used motion in hopes that he wouldnt notice i run basically the same routes every down just switching them between WR’s. Here’s my entire 2nd drive on video! Youtube

My defense didn’t really have any trouble except for Tarvaris Jackson evading my nano blitzes in the red zone to score a TD Heres a clip of just that.
Youtube!

I didn’t end up dominating the time of possession like I thought I would. Maybe that’s because both of my TD’s were supposed to be short throws over the middle but the play action blew the safeties outta my way! I was very pleased with my offense, especially my running attack considering that Vikings front 4 are beasts, my D on the other hand was better than expected but still lacking, maybe I just called some bad/risky plays on 3rd downs. Who knows? But I think next match I’m gonna run the 46 playbook. I liked the spread nickel defenses, but not having 3 or 4 down linemen was too inviting for a great running back
like Adrian Peterson.

After thought:
I think I’m ready to start playing some ladder matches on Gamebattles. (Especially because I’m sick of people quitting in the 3rd quarter when I’m only up by 11, you know who you are!)

Michael Vick, a former Atlanta Falcon, is now a free agent. Four or five years ago, you would have to be down-right insane to think that Vick would no longer be a “dirty bird.” To me, it’s practically unfathomable to the Falcons without Vick at quarterback.

But, here we are in 2009 without him. Many people are throwing around comments,
saying he can’t play anymore or will be too rusty after all the jail time.

If you’re one of those people asking if he can still play, I will strongly stand by the response that he can and will. Yes, Michael Vick has been away from the NFL for two years. Still, it’s hard to imagine he magically lost his feel for the game and his ability to play in that short amount of time. He may no longer have the ability or skill to serve as a prototypical first-string QB in today’s game, and I certainly don’t feel he’s going to resurface as a starter right off the bat. The simple fact is that no team is willing to invest much into him, which explains why the Falcons couldn’t trade him.

Never the less, sooner or later, I strongly believe you will see Vick back on the field, whether it’s as a backup, wideout, halfback, or quarterback. No matter how many people might continue to doubt this claim, I’ll stand by it time and time again–Michael Vick will return to the NFL and he will once again play at the intense and talented level he displayed as an Atlanta Falcon.

How does a person come up with their online nickname? What is the meaning behind their online ID? Is it a reflection of who they really are? There are endless possibilities when it comes to choosing and creating a nickname for online game play. The following are just a few examples of online player IDs and their meanings (the following are actual nicknames from PSN and XBL):

XMurkerX207X

Perhaps the scariest of all gamer tags are the ones where they threaten you with murder or give you the impression they are going to stab you in the neck with a rusty screwdriver. Let’s break it down section by section.

The “x” obviously means they are serious and are not to be messed with. Nobody uses the 24^th letter in the alphabet with the intention of wanting to have a long discussion about the political unrest of the Palestinian state of Israel and the potential implications of having a Jewish state. When there is an “x”in the name, it is a warning to all opponents that they mean business.

The next part is the word “murker.” This may not even be a real word (it is btw), but don’t tell this gamer either way. The word “murker” most likely comes from the word “murk” which means to defeat someone to the point that they shouldnever show their face again (urbandictionary.com).

Finally, we are left to deal with the numbers “207.” In most cases, three numbers usually represent a hometown of the player (Reggie Bush receives a 4 cent royalty fee for using these numbers ever since he made it cool when he put them on his eye-black patches). Where is area code 207 you might ask? None other than the OG (original gangsta) state of Maine. That’s right! Mother f’ing Maine, yo!

Bottom line is do not, I repeat, DO NOT, take this gamer lightly. When someone from Maine wants to defeat you to the point of utter embarrassment while carrying the weight of every “murker” in the state, topped off with the third to last letter of the alphabet incorporated into their name, you better be on your “A” game. One last piece of advice: you better start sleeping with a nightlight and blunt object hidden under your pillow if you defeat this player.

JuGGaL0 420

Upon first glance, there isn’t much to this simple nickname. There are a few cute letters strung together followed by a three-digit number (see above example for possible meaning of three digit number). Upon further examination however, it is clearly a complex nickname.

Take the first half-the word “Juggalo.” For those who live in a cave, this refers to a follower of the inspirational musical lyrics produced by the group ICP (Insane Clown Posse). Most likely, this player lives with a close family member in the back end of a mobile housing unit. Just because this player
barely qualified to attend their high school graduation does not mean they are a complete idiot. Ordinary idiots cannot talk their mom into putting a cartoon character of a man running with a hatchet on the back window of their1987 Buick Skylark in the form of a sticker. These types of people are advanced idiots.

The next half of the epithet is the number “420.” The uneducated may view this as the area code for the tropical paradise of Hawaii, but there is a 94% chance this gamer meant it to represent that he smokes….drum roll, please-marijuana. Marijuana is the drug of choice for these players and because he has the number four-two-zero in his online nickname, he most likely smokes it whenever possible. This player may have a short-lived video game career. Eventually, they will need to pawn off their gaming system to purchase a weekend of enjoyment accompanied by hits from a methamphetamine pipe or stamps of acid.

Final note: the “o” in the nickname is actually a zero, meaning this gamer is not alone and the ever-original nickname is in use by someone else. God help us all.

GoDZ-PuRPoz

God works in mysterious ways. This player obviously had a vision of the almighty creator, and it told him to serve his holiness through the world of video games. It is not essential to spell things properly, let alone your online player ID, when serving a greater power. Saving souls and putting the letter “z” to use whenever remotely possible is the agenda of this player. If the letter “s” and the correct spelling would have been used, it would have lost all meaning and this gamer would be doomed to a life of correct grammar and be just another ordinary electronic thespian.

Just having the word of a supreme being in your nickname will give you a distinct advantage over your opponent. Let’s just hope this player does not rest their controller on top of the book known as the Bible while they are attending church. A controller soaking up all that knowledge via osmosis would render the player unstoppable and their thumbs a tool of supreme deity in the gaming world.

Many people in life need to embrace the grace of divinity. That is this gamer’s purpose. Obviously.

For most of this year’s Madden 09 campaign, the Dallas Cowboys were the team of choice. One obvious reason was their massive amount of offensive talent. With Tony Romo’s speed and accuracy, he was a combo threat to either run or throw. Terrell Owens gave gamers a viable counterpart for opponents who used the seemingly unstoppable tandem of Tom Brady and Randy Moss. With the new tackle breaking system implemented in Madden 09, Marion Barber has been the prototypical running back.

In most cases, Madden tournament players roll with the Cowboys and are either high scorers or clock controllers. Tourney gamers who can combine both of these elements have had the most success, scoring at will and slowing the game down to keep their opponent off the field with three nice running backs in Barber, Felix Jones and Tashard Choice.

In Madden 10, the Cowboys will continue to be a clock killer’s dream. Their running attack will be top five in the game for sure. Barber is easily the every down back. With his lethal speed, Jones can be used for pass catching and toss/sweeps. Choice is a very capable backup who can be utilized just in case Barber or Jones are injured. Running a clock-controlling scheme out of fullhouse will most likely be the main offense used by Cowboy gamers.

Defensively in Madden 09, the Cowboys were a tremendous problem early on. When Adam “Pacman” Jones was added to the game, the Cowboys had three speedy corner backs, including Terence Newman and Orlando Scandrick. The Cowboys defensive front seven was a steady wall to run against and they also had a decent pass rush. The raw combination of strength and speed EA gave the Cowboys made it hard for any offense to counter. The only holes for the Cowboy’s defense in Madden 10 will be safety and the down 3 in their 3-4 defense.

Simply put, the Cowboys are and still will be a great Madden team despite the departure of Terrell Owens and Pacman. The main Madden gamers selecting the Cowboys will continue to probably be clock controller and heavy runners. Although it won’t be as high of a rating as it was just a year ago, the Cowboys overall team rating for Madden 10 will start at 82.

As we delve further and further into the Madden 09 offseason, EA Sports continues to leak out exciting new information to keep gamers excited about the upcoming release of Madden 10. With that said, I was pumped to see EA unveil the team ratings at E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) but there was one team’s rating that had me flabbergasted-the Denver Broncos.

Looking through the ratings, it’s very obvious early on that EA has completely revamped their team rating’s system. Instead of having 11 teams rated in the 90s at this point last year, there are now only two-the New England Patriots (93) and the Pittsburgh Steelers (92). Simply put, both of these teams have heralded the word “dynasty” in discussions about them in recent years and are very deserving of their high ratings.

Further glancing at the list, other notable teams and their ranks would be last year’s 8-8 San Diego Chargers (88), the 9-7 Dallas Cowboys (85), the 8-8 Washington Redskins (79), the 4-12 Seattle Seahawks (77) and the Detroit Lions (65).

Yet, the biggest glaring teams and their ratings for me would have to be last year’s 5-11 Oakland Raiders (71) and the Broncos (70). Even after keeping the Jay Cutler trade made earlier this offseason in mind, I am completely puzzled and baffled as to why the Broncos are rated so low. Adding more salt to my wounds, it’s nearly impossible for me to fathom that EA rated them worse than the lowly, insignificant Raiders. If I remember right, EA is touting that this version of Madden will be the “most realistic football game ever,” but how can that be if they are trying to pass off ridiculous team ratings like this?

In the end, I respect the amount of talent and speed the Raiders have, but only on Madden. In real life, the only two players that are even worth a damn for them are RB Darren McFadden and CB Nnamdi Asomugha. On the other hand, the Broncos are full of weapons, such as WR Brandon Marshall, WR Eddie Royal, CB Champ Bailey and MLB DJ Williams. That’s not even including the six or so solid RBs they have stowed away.

But, enough with the whining. I’m sure EA had a method to their madness and it will all work out in the end. Hopefully, at some point in the season, the Broncos will perform at a high level and they will be rewarded with a higher rating during a seasonal update. If they end up stinking up the place, then I will concede that their rating will have been deserved.

All I know is that Madden gamers everywhere better be ready to lose to me when I use the best 70-rated team in the game!

Team Ratings:
1st Patriots 93
2nd Steelers 92
3rd Giants 89
4th Chargers 88
5th Eagles 88
6th Titans 87
7th Colts 87
8th Cardinals 86
9th Cowboys 85
10th Panthers 83
11th Ravens 82
12th Falcons 81
13th Vikings 80
14th Bears 79
15th Redskins 79
16th Jets 78
17th Packers 78
18th Dolphins 77
19th Seahawks 77
20th Bills 76
21st Texans 75
22nd Saints 74
23rd Buccaneers 74
24th 49ers 73
25th Jaguars 71
26th Raiders 71
27th Broncos 70
28th Chiefs 69
29th Browns 68
30th Bengals 67
31st Rams 66
32nd Lions 65

While most people associate an offseason with real, live sports like the NFL, MLB and NBA, hardcore Madden gamers tend to experience an offseason of our own around this time of year.

The offseason for Madden usually starts after the franchise’s last official tournament. This year’s last Madden event/tournament was the Players Bowl in Philadelphia.

Madden’s offseason feels like the game is dying. People have no need to play it anymore. Leagues slow down, lobbies are no longer as full, people trade the game in, everyone runs the playbooks/schemes/plays, everyone knows the glitches, and traffic on your Madden site decreases.

There is a universal offseason for almost every sports game and I believe it is around the end of March or early April for Madden. E3—Electronic Entertainment Expo—gets everyone excited for up-and-coming games with long-awaited trailers, release dates, and hands-on demos that drive Madden players insane because the next year’s version always seems better than the present one. E3 usually marks the halfway point between the offseason and the upcoming season.

The offseason is the time when most hardcore Madden players take a break and unwind. Some of you might be wondering how I survive the offseason. This time last year, all I played was Call of Duty 4. My love for Madden was not as strong as it is now, but I am now practicing my video-making skills for Madden 10 to make my site the biggest on the net. Last year, I all but forgot I even had the game. This go round though, there isn’t a game that catches my eye like Madden still does.

For hardcore madden gamers, E3 is a win/lose situation. We win because we finally get a chance to see live gameplay and exclusives. On the other hand though, we lose because we have two more painstaking months of agony and boredom. But, if you are like me, E3 is also a sign that the preseason is almost here. Preseason? You know what I’m talking about—NCAA Football 10.

We have all played witness to the rollercoaster career of wide receiver Terrell Owens, as he has gone from an unknown face as a 49er, to a celebrity in Philly, to the toast of the town in Dallas–and now as a Buffalo Bill. The Bills signed T.O. to a one,year $6.5 million contract. With the signing, it leads many critics to wonder if Owens will become the all-too-familiar superstar that he was in recent years, or yet again prove to be another disgruntled nightmare for his newest quarterback, Trent Edwards?

For me, this is a difficult question to answer considering that the Bills already have another No. 1 wide receiver who will line up on the opposite side of the field in Lee Evans, who racked up 63 receptions and 1,017 yards last season. I know T.O. said he came to Buffalo just to help the team win ball games, but that sounds oddly familiar. We heard that from him back in Dallas, and I’m pretty sure none of us have already forgotten how badly that saga ended. When they were winning games, Owens had a big smile, but when they lost, it was certain that he would be blasting off to the media about something. With that being said, the Bills finished last season with a 7-9 record, last in the AFC East.

Like all athletes, T.O. isn’t a big fan of losing. We can assume he will give his all for the first few weeks, but if and when the Bills start losing, I wonder what will happen then? With him being in one the hardest divisions in the NFL, it will be essential for him to keep playing hard week in and week out, or this could be Owen’s first–and last–year as a Bill.

Chad Johnson, once the face of the Cincinnati Bengals, is now percieved as somewhat of a bother. He’s made it public that he does not want to be a Bengal any more, and it’s quite apparent that he wants very little to do the with organization. Will Chad come back in 2009 and be the “old” Chad again, or will he again be known as just a big mouth distraction?  He has stated that not only will he be back this season, but he will be back to a top notch wideout for the Bengals. In an interview with NFL Network when asked about mini camp, he said “Of course, why not go and show off the product?”  When asked if he would be present at the team’s upcoming minicamp he continued, “Why not leave my coaches’ mouths wide open? I’m sure all the people in Cincinnati think I’m really not doing that much, but you’ll see the results with the work I’m putting in right now.”

With that being said, Chad is apparently looking to have a breakout 2009 season and become the go to guy once again. Looking at some of Chad’s 2008 stats, he only had 53 receptions and 540 yards. Those stats are career lows since his rookie season.  Many sports analysts say that he’s playing for all the wrong reasons and he doesn’t have that same drive and hunger he once had.  Chad like usual doesn’t care what the analysts have to say, claiming that “He will be hungrier than ever.”

In my personal opinion, I believe that Chad now thinks that he has something to prove; To the Bengals, the fans, the NFL, and most importantly himself.  He’ll be that game changer that has to be accounted for. But, with 2 years left on his contract the question remains, does he still want to be a Cincinnati Bengal?